Basic Training

This week and next I am in training for my job.  It's offsite, and two separate courses each week.  The first class is for data analysis and the second class is for contracting.  It never fails how I get so excited about the thought of training.  I search the course catalog as if I was searching for a fancy, new car, or some exotic vacation.  I circle 3, 4, 5 different courses to take.  Then I narrow down my results, and take my requests to my supervisor for approval and to the budget lady to make sure we have funds to cover the training.  I'm set! 

Counting the days that I get to be "out of office" and in a different setting.  I make sure I set my Out of Office reply:  

I am unable to respond to your email at this time.  I'm in training until the 9th of August suckas!  While you guys are rotting at your desk, I'm out learning stuff [sticks tongue out].  If you need immediate assistance, feel free to contact someone else.  If this is an emergency and you really need to reach me....D'ah well. 

The night before my training, my brain taps me on my shoulders, and says YOU BIG DUMMY!!  Well my brain says this because it just realized that I am going to have to be at said training site ON TIME, EVERYDAY (bye bye telework on Tuesday/Friday), and actually pay attention.  Oh my damn is all I can utter, as I walk into the class of 7 people.  I can't get jiggy with this sh*t!!  I need more people so I can fade away in the back ground.  It's going to be obvious if I want to check my phone, go on FB, play Candy Crush.  UGH!!  

So as I face the realization that I need to be a good student and keep my electronics tucked away in my purse until breaks and lunch, I start to check out my surroundings.  I realize I am at the table with all the guys.  The "lady table" is all full.  Honestly, this was a blessing in disguise.  

So day 1, the school gives each class a box of Dunkin Donuts in the morning.  A nice gesture I suppose.  Well everyone is just staring at the closed box like it was the Jumanji box.  They looked scared.  So me being the greedy person that I am, jumped up and grabbed a donut.  Then here goes the "lady table":  "Oh keep those away from me, I worked out for 1.5 hours this morning.  That is just bad stuff right there. I am eating right."  They are ALL cackling about watching their weight and not eating junk.  I just smiled and ate my glazed donut.  Then the guys jump up and grab their donut.  I'd like the record to show that not more than a few hours later, AFTER lunch, these heffas (don't be offended, that's just what I jokingly call people) are snacking on flavored sunflower seeds, jalepeno cheetos, Starbucks and Mt. Dew.  I just shook my head. 

Then you know in every training you have certain types of people.   You know who I'm talking about right?  No?  Ok, let me give you the quick break down.  

"Well-Actually..."

 The "Well-Actually" person is the person that always has to correct the teacher based on their 2 mins in the government.  The teacher says something, and this person says "well actually, in my department we aren't allowed to do that."  They always have something to say, and usually make the class about them, and how they are better than this class, and they do this stuff already.

"It's Just Allergies"

This lady started coughing on day one of the training.  Someone offered her peppermint tea, and she declined.  She said she just has a tickle in her throat.  This woman has been coughing non stop since Monday!! That's not a tickle ma'am!! That's germs!  Yek!!  But there is always a sicky in the group that blames their diseased sneezes and coughs on allergies or throat tickling. 

"Busy Body"

 This is the person that feels that while they enrolled in this course, everything else in life is more important.  The busy body of my class was actually "Well Actually" too.  So while she was schooling us on what they do at her job, she was also checking her email on her laptop, that she set up at a vacant table, checking her blackberry, and sending text messages.  Not to mention that she had to stand up during most of the class because she has a back injury.  Now I am not trying to diminish the fact that she has back problems, but don't look around the room for confirmation that the class sees you getting up and walking around.  Just do what you need to, stop making a scene. 

"Smarty Pants"

 Smarty pants knows everything.  He's usually really quiet, but you know he knows the answers.  I was at the table with smarty pants.  I hope my table mates couldn't tell, but I didn't really validate my answers until I saw his.  I mean I would compare my answers with the other people, but gave them the side eye until I compared with him.  It got to the point where I would ask a question, and not even hear the other two because I was waiting on Smarty Pants to reply.  I know it's wrong, but it's the truth.  He made me feel smart. LOL.

"Tha Joka"

Now what is any type of class without the class clown.  He is always making jokes, and scanning the room to see who's laughing.  He's not always funny, but he gives it his best shot.  I have one in my class, and he sits at my table.  The only reason why he doesn't annoy me is because I know why he keeps joking around.  He's an older gentlemen and not really good at math,  and I can tell he uses "humor" to deflect the fact that he is still on problem 2 when we are on problem 20.  I get it.  So when he starts cracking jokes, someone leans in and starts helping him.  

Of course there are many more characters in the wonderful world of training, but I figured I would just rattle off a few of my top favorite.  I still have a week left of this training.  I am frightfully interested in who the cast will be for next weeks training.  

Pray for me yall!!  LOL!!

The Sound of Music

Me: "I think little kids with transition sunglasses look funny when they turn dark.  They look like mini PM Dawn's running around the playground.  I can't quite describe it."
Him:  "PM Dawn?  Who's that?"
Me:  **GASP** "You don't know who PM Dawn is?!?!?"


For as long as I can remember, the soundtrack to my life has always been an important part of my life experiences.  I think at an early age I turned to music as not only an outlet for the issues I was going through, but to also serve as a reference point for those random moments in my life.  A certain song can conjure up memories of playing outside of my apartment complex, swimming at the local pool, or riding in the car with my father.  I think before my father left, a lot of the soundtrack was soft white noise.  I can't pin point actual songs the way I can now,  after he left.  That may sound a bit weird or strange, but stay with me here.  I may have used music as a way to fill the void that I felt in my life.  I mean, I'm not therapist, but I play one on TV. *wink*

I distinctly remember getting my first pair of jellies and biker shorts.  I had the shape of a pine needle when I was younger, but you couldn't tell me anything in my baggy biker shorts and flopping off my feet jellies.  But when I think back to that time in my life, I can hear loud as hell Salt N Peppa's Push It song.  And when I used to spend days at one of my babysitters houses, she would always do my hair.  And she would ask what style I wanted, and I really wanted the asymmetrical cut she had, but I knew that wasn't happening at the tender age of 7..... but I distinctly remember Madonna's Like A Virgin song playing in the background as she did my hair.

I can't hear any song from Little Shop of Horror without thinking of my godsister performing the play in her high school musical production back in the early 90s (or late 80s, I forget).  When I got my first boombox CD player for Christmas in 1992, my mom included the Mary J. Blige What's the 411 CD and Super Cat's Don Dada CD.  By the end of Christmas night, I knew all the words to Grand Puba's part and the rap on Dolly My Baby.  The movie Crooklyn actually makes me want to go back to the 1970s and sit on someone's stoop in Brooklyn (mind you I was born in 1980)!!  I love the music in the movie.   The way the music in that movie evokes emotion in those that view it, is the same way music evokes sentimental feelings in me.

I have even gotten to a point that when I hear a song debuted on the radio, I get upset if it's released in the "wrong" season.  Hear me out.  You know there is a certain beat that you would go crazy with, while your windows are rolled down, and it's nice outside.  Some beats/songs don't get justice in the dead of winter with the volume on low or medium.  And even on high, it sounds like muffled noise.  I liken it to them playing Will Smith's Summertime song in December.

I recently went to a movie premier at the Kennedy Center.  The movie Big Words, directed by Neil Drumming, was sponsored by AaFFRM.  My husband and sisterfriend (Nae)  were with me.  We thoroughly enjoyed this movie.  It was about MUSIC!! I mean, it was about way more than music, but I was able to identify a bit with each of the characters.   My husband who loves to write and perform rap music could identify with always having a rhyme in your head.  Being able to viciously tell a story about his surroundings without blinking an eye.  Pen and pad aren't necessary for him.  I liken my husband to the character MC Wordsmith.  LOL.    I think I can identify with DJ Malik.  Trapped in the past, pissed when someone remakes a song to a beat I danced to back in the 80s.  Like the group who sampled Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper in 2011.  NOOOOOOOOOOO!! That song is a classic. That song makes me think of my childhood.   I get sad when I listen to that song.  And I like that! It also makes me think of the movie Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.  Yes I know that some songs from the 80s contained samples of songs as well, but that's beside the point, and I'm not trying to hear all that right now. 

Don't get me started on the Sister Act 2 or Lion King soundtrack, whew child!!  My kids always stare at me when I rap songs from the 80s and 90s as if I wrote, produced and performed the song myself.  I'm sure car rides will never be the same after I went apeshit when OPP and Self Destruction came on.  Oh yea, and Jingling Baby.

I don't know.  I'm pretty sure at this point I am rambling.  But I know that if I truly tried to write on paper how music takes me to different points in my life, this would be the length of a thesis and not a blog entry you'd like to read.  In my mind my life is literally like a movie.  While some may assign clothing, tv shows, smells to specific moments in history, I see music.  Yes, see.


Where does music stand in your life?  If it's not music, then what does it for you?  Food?  Places?

Check out the trailer for Big Words.  I'm telling you this movie is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

Walk It Out!

6:15pm - Hair. Check.  Make Up. Check. Outfit. Check.

6:30pm - Riding down Suitland Parkway, music blasting, ready for dinner and drinks with a friend.

7:00pm - Arrive in front of restaurant.

7:10pm - look for parking

7:15pm - Answer "where are you?!" text from friend

7:30pm - Scream at the DC parking gods for NEVER having any parking ever!

7:35pm - Find parking damn near in MD, 1000 blocks away from my final destination

I parked my car and contemplated on whether or not I was going to keep my heels on and walk the Green Mile, or if I was going to put on my flip flops, knowing GOOD AND WELL I was in desperate need of a pedicure.  It took me all of 2 seconds to decide on my flip flops, and then trekked it to my final destination.  A few feet from the restaurant, I stopped, leaned against the wall and put on my heels.  I had to give this lady the "And What?!" look as I clumsily hopped into my heels.  And then I sashayed into the restaurant.

Fast forward 2 hours.   I sashay out the restaurant, and do the same wobble/hip hop moves to get my swollen feet out my heels and put on my flip flops for the long walk back to the car. 

Oh, what's that Mr. Homeless man?  You want to approach me?  In the dark?  *sigh*  I clutch my heels tight, in case they need to be used as a weapon, and walk faster in my flip flops. He mumbles something, and I give him the look of death.  I think he got my point. 

As I drove around looking for parking, I posed the question in my head:  Just How Far Would You Park for a Friend?

I mean honestly.  When do you say, "lookey here...I can't find parking.  The lots are all packed.  I'm sorry, but I'm going home"  Do you factor in walking buddies?  Type of shoe?  Weather?  Outfit?  Whether or not you even like the person you are coming to see?  

I've calculated that I have walked 87,340 miles from my parked car to my final destination in DC (maybe I am exaggerating.)  over the course of my lifetime.  That's too damn much.  I either need a chauffeur or to park my car in front of the restaurant the night before to make sure I have a decent spot.  And well since none of those options are feasible, I am working on an app.  I need an app that will calculate how far I will park based on certain criteria. Like if it's raining, I'm by myself, I have on 3.5" heels, and I only like you, but don't LIKE YOU like you, well I want the app to tell me 2 blocks max or something like that.  But if it's sunny, i'm with my girls, with some cute flats on and I love you like a sister.....you know maybe the app will tell me 3 blocks & a cab ride.  I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there.  

I mean for me, nothing can ruin a night more than searching 10 years for a parking spot, and find one 80 miles from where you really need to be.  

<--- Me after parking....LOL!

Later....literally!

~EITB

A Pot To P*ss In

If you haven't heard about the issues currently surrounding the Queen of Butter, Paula Deen, consider yourself lucky (or in a coma). Since the news breaking deposition hit the internet earlier this month, social media, news sites, and the blogosphere have run wild about Ms. Deen calling people the N-word.  And just as quickly, her endorsements dropped faster than a heaux's drawls during NBA All Star weekend.

Then the rants came "everyone uses the word, why are they treating her so bad" , "they are being unfair to her" and so on and so on.  It is my belief that a majority of the people that are squawking about the case haven't even read the lawsuit, or deposition to give a more informed opinion of the situation.  

From what I have read, Paula is clueless about how her brothers actions and her non-actions, have caused this entire thing to spiral out of control.  When allegations about her brother stealing from the restaurant arose, which is "funded with Deen money", they addressed the issue by giving the brother a pay increase, and writing off the missing money.  The same person that reported her brothers actions, a long time friend, is now someone that Paula claims may be jealous of her and her brothers success and is no longer a credible source in her eyes.  

Another incident in which Ms. Deen showcases her brilliant "non-action" super power, is when a complaint is brought about, by someone who witnessed work place violence by her brother Bubba.  So how was it confirmed if the claim was true or not?  The boss, Bubba, and manager on site, walked up to the gentleman (Big Will), placed their hand on his shoulder and basically asked him what happened.  He didn't admit to any allegations.  NOWWWWWWWWWW, in my mind, I am wondering, just really what would you expect an employee to say to his boss who has a record for being awful?  This man's job was probably on the line, and in GA, in this economy, I wouldn't say jobs are just waiting for you at your doorstep when you wake up every morning.  

I know what you're saying, but that's Bubba's issue, not Paula's.   And I simply reply meh.  Yea meh.  They're both stakeholders in the company, 50/50. And Paula had the sense to hire an independent company to review the company and culture of the restaurant.  And then they were to report their findings to Ms. Deen.  That's awesome!  Right?  Well when the results were not in favor of Bubba & Madame Parkay  Paula, she claimed that the independent review was skewed by several parties, including Lisa Jackson.  Lisa Jackson is the woman filing suit.  When asked if Ms. Deen read the report, she could only answer "I may have".  When asked if she had a copy of the report she answers "I may, or it may be at the corporate office".  *sigh*

Ms. Deen understands sexual harassment to be "when someone comes on to you in the workplace". 

  

I don't know, there is just so much to write.  I don't think Paula is an evil person.  Nope. Given all the fodder I have based on the testimony I have read, I only see her as "clueless".  She can't seem to get out her world, to understand that some things just need to be kept at home.  Bubba probably should not be running the restaurant.  He's a liability.  

Paula needs to also look back at her dry face crying apology on the Today Show, and understand why saying "I is what I is..." probably wasn't a smooth move.  

In regards to her endorsments, I'm not shocked or saddened.  This is business.  Strictly that.  And if you look closely a lot of these companies haven't completely severed ties with Paula. Many have merely taken a "hiatus" from peddling her products.  Even QVC gave us a hint that there would be the rebirth of Paula Deen the Great, when they said "People deserve second chances."  Paula signed a morality clause with all of these companies (I'm assuming).  And if something you do happens to break it, welp, then your contract may become null and void.  This isn't a witch hunt.  It's business.  Shoot some of the companies dropping her don't have a "moral" leg to stand on themselves, so this scapegoating of Paula is Grrrrrrrrrreat PR for them.  

It's the circle of life.  Paula just needs to go bye bye, for a little bit.  Get some perspective.  Don't start making appearances on PolitcsNations with Al Sharpton, Ivylana's Fix My Life or frequenting black churches....Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!  Sure many of us have said bad things in our lives, but I am only representing myself.   Even your family and friends will drop you if you say things  or act in a manner that are against their moral fiber (even if they are living foul themselves) but that is their prerogative.  

In my opinion she has a somewhat twisted view on people of color.  Some of that can be chalked up to her upbringing but the majority of it is chalked up to her inability to grow up (mentally) from those views.  To think" slaves" being waiters at a formal dinner is a fabulous idea shows me that she is still quite juvenile.  

She'll be on some Oprah Life Class episode soon.  And I heard she's hired crisis manager Olivia Pope  (Judy Smith).   

And you can still go buy your Paula Deen pot sets , no one is judging you!  

While you were deep frying butter this week in support of Paula Deen, here's what else went on in news:

George Zimmerman’s lawyer opens with claim Trayvon Martin attacked his client: ‘There are no monsters here’

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/trayvon-martin-trial-opens-george-zimmerman-quote-article-1.1380872#ixzz2XcF7QEzA

Obama vows to tackle pollution, climate change — even without Congress' help

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/obama-takes-power-plant-emissions-part-climate-plan-article-1.1381818#ixzz2XcFctnSv

Supreme Court strikes down part of Voting Rights Act 

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/supreme-court-strikes-part-voting-rights-act-report-article-1.1381780#ixzz2XcFsdPXi

Supreme Court strikes down Defense of Marriage Act

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/supreme-court-strikes-defense-marriage-act-clears-same-sex-marriage-california-landmark-decisions-article-1.1382898#ixzz2XcG0BEBj

It's Me, Not You (Follow Up to Notes In C-Minor)

Despite what I feel were my best efforts, this morning I was still in the same place I was last month.  The struggle with the school system to accommodate my daughter in school was annoying.  I had the perfect opportunity to have my daughter tested for ADD but the forms completed by the teacher painted a different picture than our one on one conversations.  According to her reports there was nothing out of the ordinary about my daughter.  She was fine.  This in turn suggested to the people that were considering testing my child for ADD that she was not an optimal candidate.  While they believed she did have some traits, they were not strong enough to warrant testing and inclusion in their study. 

Those words cut deep.  So basically I am at square one.  As tears streamed down my face, I questioned why I felt alone in this struggle, and why I had to prove to people that my child could benefit from a little bit of flexibility and assistance during school.  

I sat in the car, in the drive way of my youngest daughters daycare, and just cried.  I felt defeated and exhausted.  Then I started thinking about other things that made me sad, and I was a mess.  Things that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the current issue began racing through my head. I started making decisions that I wasn't going to do this anymore, and that I wasn't going to do that anymore, and basically people could kiss my butt, because I am tired of helping people with their problems as I struggle through my own.  

But just as quickly as the anger and pain came, it went away.  I started putting things into perspective.  I realized that there was nothing WRONG with my daughter.  She learns differently.  Cool.  Address that! I don't need a diagnosis to get me a piece of paper, to demand a subpar school system, to force their subpar school to make the subpar principal create an EIP or 504 plan for my child.   I've had conversations with teachers about her being off track more times than I care to remember, but just realized that they will NOT put anything in writing.  Maybe it's to protect them, the school or the County. I don't know.  

I just need to know what works for my little girl and go that route.  That includes keeping the focus on school this summer.  She's enrolled in engineering camp this summer. I am hoping that will help her see what's out there for her when she graduates school.  I am also working hard to find an alternative school for her.  I have a feeling we won't be able to enroll her next year because deadlines have passed and we aren't financially ready to send her.  I hate the fact that she will be in a school that is teaching to pass state tests to prove the teachers can teach the state test material, but hey, my hands are tied right now. I have no other options.  I can only plan ahead.  

I've committed myself to stop chasing a diagnosis.  I know what I know.  I'm her mother, and I knew this child was cut from a different cloth the moment she first kicked in the womb, I am satisfied with my diagnosis....Everything about this beautiful child is perfectly RIGHT.  I will encourage her to continue to ask questions, speak her mind and explore the unknown.  It's her world!   And I cannot believe that I was struggling to put society's standards on her, like she was the problem.   She has already taught me a thing or two, and I absolutely adore her for this life lesson!

Mike Check

Yesterday my Facebook feed ran rampant with discussions of an interview Michael Douglas did with The Guardian newspaper.  It was said that he stated: 

 "...his cancer had been caused by having contracted the human papillomavirus (HPV) through oral sex."

I'm almost positive that pediatrician offices and primary care physician phone lines are ringing crazier than ........ (I tried to think of something witty, and just couldn't think of anything!!  Feel free to fill in the blank in the comments section..LOL).

So anyway, yea, the doctors are going to be returning a LOT of calls today.  

How could this one small interview, cause so much ruckus?  I've seen quite a few debates and discussions on HPV, cancer and everything in between since yesterday.  Michael Douglas even appeared on a few morning shows this morning.  

His rep is now trying to clear the air, by saying: 

"Michael Douglas did not say cunnilingus was the cause of his cancer. It was discussed that oral sex is a suspected cause of certain oral cancers as doctor's in the article point out but he did not say it was the specific cause of his personal cancer." - USA Today

But the "damage" was already done. Women are in a panic at the water cooler on how their man would rather go hungry than to get "coochie-mouth cancer like that guy from Basic Instinct".  *sigh*

All jokes aside, I just urge people to do your research!!  Read more about HPV than what appears on your Twitter & FB newsfeed.  Don't let PerezHilton.com be your leading source on what the virus is, and how it affects your body. 

I found a few good sites to give you more information:  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/cervical

While I am not claiming Michael Douglas of doing this, but we must all be cognitive of the fact that folks don't always have our best interest at heart.  I believe Michael thought he was going to lose his life when told he had stage 4 throat cancer.  I will NEVER try to mitigate a survivors experience.  But I will also remember that a celebrity who "speaks out" about a disease or issue, could also have their pockets lined in gold by the Pharmaceutical companies.  We don't always know a person's angle, which is why I urge you to do your own research, and not fuel the fire by spreading misinformation.

While you were worrying about flavored dental dams and bedazzling your cooch, these events have occured:

And this!!

Whoa!!  LOL!

How has all this talk about HPV affected you?  Are you leaning towards reading more about the vaccination?  Has it not swayed you at all?  

Poppin Bottles!

My husband and I have been raising babies since WE were babies.  We met in college and instead of working hard towards our degree, we were working hard in other areas..... (sorry mom).
Our hard work really paid off! I got a gig as a "mom" and that was that.  I left school to move back with my mom so I could sort some things out.  Shyt just got real and I needed to take care of it.  I went back to school and got a full time job in the government.
But life was too easy! I needed more pressure.  I needed to be stressed, what good was the hair on my head if it wasn't grey or being ripped out from stress, so I had another "oops" baby.   If I thought shyt was real then, well then it definitely got REAL-er with this second pregnancy.

But I didn't let that deter me from the goals I set out before I became a mom.  I received my degree 1 month before I had my second baby, and I found a career track that I knew I would enjoy at my place of employment.  The father of the kids and I married and bought a house, I even enrolled in school to get my Masters degree.  I was at peace.  

Things were going according to my plan and well I was happy with my somewhat dysfunctional family.  But I still wasn't bald!!!  Lord why is my life so easy.  I mean I was just making ends meet! I NEED to struggle! I mean those weren't my actual thoughts, but your would have thought they were when I announced being pregnant with our third baby.

Aaaah, now I felt better.  I was irregular.  I had constant headaches.  I gained weight.  THIS is what life is about, right?  Stressed the FREAK out, looking crazy?  But then the questions started coming.....

"When are you guys going to try for the boy?"

Man, if yall don't sit down somewhere!?!  I haven't seen this many people in my uterus since my last baby was born!! I mean if we were living in a DELUXE apartment in the sky-y-y-y, I could see maybe people asking that question.  But we don't.  Or maybe if you handed a large sack full of $100 dollar bills prior to you saying that, I wouldn't be as angry. 

I did the math.  I need to stop while I am ahead if I want to be like this:

And so my husband won't be like this:

(no he wouldn't really bail out!! LOL! Just thought it was a funny gif)

So unless you are going to pay for daycare, diapers, and offer to babysit for Baby Neva, then stop asking when we are going to try for the boy.  

We are not here for your repopulation efforts!! I am looking forward to vacations out of the country, without worrying if I left enough breastmilk in the freezer for the baby.  Nerp! NO WAY! No how!

I love my kids to DEATH and wouldn't change anything for all the riches in the world but.........................I'M DONE POPPIN BOTTLES!

*disclaimer: if by any chance I happen to get pregnant again after this, I HIGHLY suggest you put ol' girl on suicide watch*

~EITB

Notes in C-minor

  

"She is reading below grade level"

"She is breaking crayons and hiding them in her bag"

"I often have to give her extra time on tests"

"I have to get her attention in class"

"We have to clear her desk so she doesn't get preoccupied"

Over the last 4 years, I've heard the aforementioned statements about my daughter.  My husband and I have had talks with the teachers and worked on plans to improve her reading skills.  We've also discussed issues of inattentiveness in the classroom.  But the teachers ALWAYS shared how well mannered and sweet our daughter was.  



The one incident that has always stood out the most was the crayon incident.  Someone at my daughters work station was breaking the classroom crayons.   The teacher pin pointed my daughter as the culprit after the evidence was found in the bottom of her book bag. When we confronted my daughter about the incident she burst into tears and told us she had no idea how the crayons got into her bookbag and that she didn't break them.  A week later, the teacher caught her in the act.  My daughter was only in Kindergarten.  She wasn't a liar, and she had a really sweet spirit.   I honestly felt that she didn't realize she was breaking the crayons.  

As a small child, my daughter was very busy!  Running around the house and bouncing on the couch cushions while watching T.V. was the norm for her.  I only questioned her hyperactivity a few times with the pediatrician, who assured me that this was normal.  She also had phases.  When she was a baby she went through a phase where she would ONLY suck on the nipple of a bottle.  No bottle attached, just the ring and the nipple.  She didn't want the pacifier.  As a toddler, she would ONLY wear dresses during one phase.  Then the flip flop phase.  She would have a full out meltdown if you did not accommodate these phases.  The dress phase included a complete wardrobe revamp (courtesy of grandma) of nothing but dresses.  

I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Shoot, I ain't doing all that for a 2 year old".  And the old me would have chuckled at the thought of changing my life to accommodate this little girl.  But the reality was, we did what we could to make my daughter happy.  She wasn't a brat about things.  This wasn't a "I want dessert before dinner" type of relationship we had with her.  It was a random phase that she would go through and everything else was normal.  

As she grew up, she was always drawn to very big words.  Instead of saying something was hard, she would say difficult.  (maybe not a big word to you, but with her being 3, it seemed impressive).  She loved to perform, and at 4 sang "At Last" by Etta James during her school's Black History Month program.  She's done ballet, ice skating, cheerleading, gymnastics, girl scouts, liturgical dance, and is now learning to play the electric guitar.   

But something was still off for me.  Homework sessions usually involved tears, and constant redirection.  You could put her in the most boring room  and she would find something, anything, to take her attention away from the task.  We eventually began using timers for math homework.  At home, she excelled in her work (meaning came to the correct solution without help from anyone), which is why we were puzzled when her school grades showed us something different.  Reading short stories and answering questions about the story seemed to be a difficult task for her. 

I also realized that at times she can be socially awkward.  She hates large crowds.  She constantly needs to know the who, what and why of a lot of things.  Even a trip to the store can be daunting if I deviate from what I said we were going to do.  If you lay out steps A-D for her, she is fine, but if you add A-1, A-2, then go to B, or take out B completely, there is an issue and she needs to understand why.  (I hope that made sense) Nonetheless, EVERYONE loves my daughter and thinks her random comments and reactions are "cute" or "funny", when I see something completely different.  

I read this presentation and found a lot of similarities with my daughter: 
http://www.secacpg.org/Documents/Presentations/Boser-Learning&Emotions-2013/Boser_LearningEmot_04232013final.pdf

My current situation involves my realization that my little girl may have a slight learning disability.  But I have been unsuccessful in proving this to the school.  My goal at a recent meeting was to work together with her schools team to have my daughter tested for any learning disabilities she may have. Instead I felt unheard, and my concerns for my child ignored. 


At the beginning of the meeting, my daughters teacher stated that my child was distracted easily and that she had to get her attention to focus back on her work. I pointed out her grades of C's & D's, and was given subpar responses as to why her grades were that way.

The psychologist discussed that since my daughter didn't display outlandish behavior (i.e. - blurting out answers, not standing in line) that she didn't need to be tested for ADHD.  The principal even mentioned the rules of IDEA, but failed to address how her lack of paying attention was a detriment to her learning.





Because my daughter said hello in the morning, raised her hand to ask a question and stood in line during lunch, she did not fit the requirement for testing for ADHD.



The staff was unmoved by my attempt to show them my struggle, and my concerns.  They all concluded that since there was improvement in her grades and reading level after some form of intervention was administered that she didn't have a disability.  

 It is inappropriate to use passing grades or achievement test scores as a "litmus test" in eligibility determination decisions. Intelligence has no bearing on disability or need. Even individuals with genius level IQs can have a disability that affects their ability to access the curriculum.

My daughter has been seeing a therapist for a few months, and the therapist also recommended testing.  She saw signs of ADHD.  

My husband, father in law, and I have been working on some things to keep my daughter focused.  We have incorporated more reading time, and allow her to pick books that she is genuinely interested in.  

The schools "solution" for my daughter not finishing her classwork is to allow her to finish the work during morning warm up.    
  So does that mean she is going to miss out on warm up work?  How is that made up?  ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!  

I can't with these public schools in my County.  I'm tired of the state assessments that say my child is in the lowest percentile compared to other students in her grade.  I'm tired of the teachers giving my child extra time for tests and school work, without discussing with her parents.  Then they get upset when she is daydreaming during the extra time!   I am just TIRED!  

We are currently looking for school settings that are more conducive to my daughters learning habits.  It's been hard because they are all asking $16k a year for tuition (starting).    Financial aid is very limited.  We found one school that we feel our daughter would be perfect in.  The environment is exactly what she would need.  There is no structured seating (face forward, listening to a teacher teach for a test).  The school encourages thinking outside of the box.  The students give positive affirmation to each other.  It's just wonderful.  We're currently on the waiting list for that school.  

Have you ever been where I have been?  If so, how did you manage?  What steps did you take?  I know those with kids on the autism spectrum can have an even tougher time.     




~EITB

N.B.A. & N.F.L. Players

Once a year, the Tax Fairy comes to homes across the nation.  Folks stalk their mailbox from the moment the calendar points to Jan.1, in hopes that their "freedom papers" W-2s have arrived.  All the parents sleep nestled in bed, while visions of dependent kids dance in their head.  Some have already spent the money in their mind.  It's gone before the CPA can press enter to submit their files.  Nike, Gucci and Hennesy company execs are equally as excited.  They fall asleep to the sound of their quarterly profits skyrocketing.  The numbers are almost moving as one solid line because the money is coming in so fast.

Facebook and Instagram are both flooded with pictures of people showing off what Uncle Sam gave them.  Rims, shoes, weaves, nails, outfits.  Just racks on racks on racks of crisp dollar bills on display for all to see.  Aaaah, yes, it's tax season ya'll!  Get it while it's hot!

But what these N.B.A. (not balling actually) and N.F.L. (not for long) players fail to realize is that they really aren't stunting at all.  And don't get me wrong, PLEASE understand that I was drafted into the N.B.A. & N.F.L. at a young age.  At 20, I realized just how "lucrative" it was to have my first tax write off  child and we were dressed to the nines from February to April.  Living in my mom's house, with a fresh weave, nails done, and my car was clean.  It took a few seasons for me to get my mind right.  And I am actually still working on my game.  Because while I may not be looking in the windows of the gucci store anymore during this time, my tail is flying to Lowes or HomeGoods for mess I don't even need.  I mean even IKEA is a playground to me!  How many Ivergakamp storage sets do I need?!?

I'm a work in progress.  I changed my exemptions two years ago.  So my "balling" was minimized greatly, and I started putting more money in my savings.  

Check out this great post on the blog Girls Just Wanna Have Funds.  http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/before-you-spend-that-tax-refund-check/

The whole blog is a great financial tool for everyone (not just women).  I've tried to incorporate some of what I learned from the posts into my own finances.  Again, I'm a work in progress.  

So call son-son, and tell him to put down the paint....

Call the shop, tell him..... "hold the pickles"

You aint bout that life anymore.  This message is universal.  Don't get stuck on the pictures.  ALL RACES are guilty of this "tax fraud".  I'm just here to shed a little light.  We can all learn something from this PSA.  

Yall keep it up and you'll be playing for the N.H.L. (national homeless league)!!  

What crazy item have you purchased with tax money?!  Leave a comment below.  :-)

Later!

~EITB

Rhymes With Grape

I want to preface this post by saying that I write posts when the spirit moves me.  My posts are sporadic and my blog has no real direction.  They are just random thoughts that I write out.  Some posts may be all Angela Davis in your face type posts, while others are Pauly Shore/Adam Sandler-esque.  Thoughts rattle in my head all the time and the only way to make them go bye bye is to put them on "paper".  I was encouraged by my sister/friend, Nae,  to blog (moreso about my mother escapades) so this is why I share these thoughts with you.  Enjoy!

Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it

I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it

mol·ly  

/ˈmälē/

Pure form of MDMA (ecstasy), usually a free powder or in capsules. Oftentimes MDA is sold as molly. Should be white in color (when it's pure) but is more often beige or yellow-brown, and sometimes brown or rarely gray.   A side effect of this drug is sweating more than usual.

I contemplated whether or not I was going to write a post discussing Rick Ross's recent controversial rap lyrics in his new song UOENO (don't ask me what that means).  I was going to discuss the backlash CO Ross has received about the lyrics.  I was going to mention how women and men were trying to grapple with the fact that Rawse basically promoted slipping a drug into a woman's drink and then having sex with her, unbeknownst to her.  But you guys already did that for me.  You guys posted FB threads, you ranted on radio stations, left comments under numerous gossip sites, to show your dislike for the negro Stay Puft marshmallow man's outlandish and offensive lyrics.

Job well done?  I don't know.  Rick Ross came out with a sorry ass apology a few days ago, to explain to us that he wasn't talking about rape, we misunderstood him.  Duh!!  He was talking about when you give someone a drug, but you just don't tell them (that would ruin the surprise), then when she is incoherent and unresponsive you ask "do you mind if I take you upstairs, you look tired".  Then you remove her clothing, because clearly she is sweating, you figured, that since she is naked you'll make sure her vajayjay is working by performing a physical exam with your penis. I mean when she wakes up, if she doesn't give you a standing ovation for being such an upstanding citizen then she MUST be craycray.

Was that too harsh?  Did I go too far with my description?  Did I offend you?  Cool.  Now if you aren't equally offended by Koko's  lame apology then please click the small X in the upper right hand corner of your screen now.  His attempt at setting "all the sexy ladies" straight, was lame, unapologetic, offensive and a waist of air time.  He boasts that he didn't use the term rape, so basically why are we tripping.   But I guarantee if I asked him if he wanted two pieces of bread, mayo, ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce and a tomato slice, but gave him a salad instead, he would be crying foul too!!  Demanding where his sammich was.  But Rawse, I didn't say sandwich, so why are you tripping?

I'm not going to really get into the celebrities and role model issue either. I don't have it in me and I have my own kinks to work out with the way I raise my daughters before I start schooling folks on their parenting skills.  But parents, yall are not excused.  Please miss me with the "he is setting a bad example for the young kids out here".   He better not be setting ANY type of example for your child except maybe what not to eat.  Rick didn't sign up to be your child's ABC After School special.  I don't want to hear any of the "I was blinded by Rick Ross's shiny DVD sized areola's and didn't realize what my kids were actually watching or listening to".   Nerp, not gonna work.   "Artists" have been pushing the envelope since the beginning of time.  I guess we won't really call action to anything until these fools are actually committing the crime in the video...."Damn, did MC NahMeen really just murder that midget in his video?".  Radios will still have "stop the violence" rallies, yet play Chief Keef in the same hour.
  
See, "that's that sh*t I don't like"

Interesting enough, I found this link : 8 romantic songs you didnt know were about rape while googling this Rick Ross mess.  I SWEAR whenever I hear "Baby It's Cold Outside" I think he is talking about slipping something in her drink and forcing her to stay over, and not tell anyone"!!  Am I the only one?  I digress....

The videos below show that some parents still don't get it.

Please share and comment as you feel fit.  Am I tripping?

THIS BAMMA HERE! Woooo!

~EITB